How To Enjoy Oral Sex

Cunnilingus and fellatio - two words that certainly are a bit of a mouthful!

OK, OK, forgive the pun. It's probably only a jest if you're receiving frequent oral sex. And how many people do? Probably less than you think. One of my oldest friends once confided to me that he couldn't sway his companion to go down on him - to give him fellatio. And was he ever having the chance to go down on her? No way - she made that absolute from the beginning of their relationship.

He was desperately dejected about it, partly because he knew how pleasurable it feels, but also because he knew how much wonderful pleasure she would get if she let him try it on her. But she seemed to be fixed in the idea that the genitals were "dirty", and nothing would induce her to let a lover's mouth anywhere near them. Ironically, did she but know it, the healthy feminine vagina is an extremely bacteria-free place - far cleaner than the mouth in terms of bacteria are concerned.

Most men know exactly just how pleasurable it is to receive oral sex, though many have told me they like offering it to a woman almost as much. But women seem to be more reluctant to give oral sex than to receive it. If you're a man in this position, what's to be done? Many of the web sites on this matter are not written in a female-friendly way, and could simply be off-putting rather than encouraging if you were to present a averse partner to them. But if a woman is hesitant to perform fellatio when you want her to, something more than gentle persuasion could become into a big relationship issue.

In the end, you might have to think what is more important to you. And guys, let's have a bit of sensitivity over this: it is every partner's right to say "No" to sexual activites which they find unappealing.

But it's also important to get to the root of a woman's anxiety about oral sex: is it that she might choke? Or that you might ejaculate in her mouth? These fears are understandable: semen might not taste as pleasant as you think, and it can certainly absorb the taste of what you've just eaten, especially spices (e.g. curry) and beer. Worst of all, so I am told, is asparagus.

Of course if you can't get your female partner to give you fellatio, it's a disappointment, and it may infer some fairly extreme sexual issues. Perhaps she believes sex itself is "dirty", and good girls don't do that kind of thing. Maybe her attitude would change if you spent some time generous her oral sexual pleasure? If this doesn't work, or if she doesn't want you to do it to her, then talking about it may help to resolve the underlying issues.

The saddest thing of all is that cunnilingus (the use of the partner's tongue, lips and mouth on a woman's sexual organs) seems to be one way in which most women can reach orgasm very simply. A survey by Men's Health magazine disclosed that oral sex by men for women was "one of the most desired and exciting sexual activities that a man could perform for a woman; over and over again, the women said how greatly they loved it." It also has been ranked as the most satisfying action a man can do for a woman. In another survey 81% of women said that they could come to orgasm through oral sex.

It stands to reason, because I can't think of anything more exciting right now than the bouquet and taste of a vagina. So close to their lover, most men will become greatly aroused, and their better energy and enthusiasm will feed their lover's feeling of being loved and wanted: it's massively flattering for a woman to know that she turns her partner on so profoundly. Furthermore, there is a profound significance in the act of "going down" on a woman - something to do with her being desired, something that says how she is respected and loved.

We're still obsessed at some extreme level by our animal line, and even though I understand for some men and women that the "animalistic" aspects of sex can be a bit off-putting, possibly we should just give permission to ourselves to respond to our fundamental desires and enjoy the openly stimulating sights and scents of a partner's intimate regions.

But if the smell and taste of your partner's genitals genuinely does trouble you, then why not work a welcoming} bath and massage session into your lovemaking? And of course this particular issue cuts both ways, for men sometimes need to ensure their hygiene is up to scratch.

The best way to find out how to give oral pleasure to a woman is to hear what your partner says she wants. But you can make a good start by studying a fantastic account of how to do oral sex on a web-site that contains a thorough description of cunnilingus, written sensitively and imaginatively for men: http://www.my-penis.org/

One final point - there is a small number of men who find the idea of orally pleasuring their partners an uncomfortable one. So try this picture: in ancient Chinese art, a woman's genitals are often depicted as a peony flower. And if you take a smell of a peony, your face is engulfed in a great, scented mass of pink petals. Delicious!

Rod Smith is a writer with http://www.my-penis.org..