Why Understanding Resistance To Change Can Lead You To Your Desired Purpose and Happiness

Changing careers, embarking on a new health regime, or thinking about getting into a new relationship can be all things that we desire, yet thinking of change can bring up internal resistance on our part, and we may not be able to explain to ourselves, why. That's because change is really tied more with how we are Being than what we are Doing.

We are ever expanding growth seeking beings - therefore change calls out to us frequently. Some folks have been able to get to the place where they can embrace change. They now have an attitude of adventure, of fun, and of how can I enhance my life. Whereas others desire new results, yet feel afraid to make a change, and to examine their belief systems through that process. Perhaps, they have attempted a major change before and did not get the results they wanted.

Know that change on a physical plane will generally require a change in long held beliefs.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

For the most part, though we want to have the new results that the change will bring into our life, we will never the less, experience some negative mind chatter, such as "What makes you think you can actually do that - you haven't been able to before?" "You're not good enough or smart enough to figure that out."

I know you get the picture- you are perhaps already hearing your own internal critic.

Change creates some level of anxiety and can bring to your level of consciousness some totally irrational fears. If that has happened to you - know that you are not alone. Part of the reason you cannot name the fears and explain why you have these fears is because some of these fears go way back to when you were an infant.

The first fundamental change you experienced was when you were born and were now part of the outside world. You needed to deal with being separated from your mother.

As you were growing up you also came face to face with the need for being acknowledged, of being seen and of being heard. As humans we have the need to be affirmed and reassured that we can reach our potential. If these needs were not being met, we may have in fact started doing many things in our environment to receive approval, to please others or to gain attention.

Focusing a great deal on pleasing others would have allowed us to cope and deal with our environment. Yet internally, it may have been precisely what caused us to move further and further away from being our true self and expressing our creativity, developing our skills and talents. The further we moved away from being our true self the more we needed to be affirmed and so on - a vicious cycle.

Having spent years looking to gain approval and please others, explains in part the fact that as adults we still look for approval from others. This habit is so ingrained that most individuals do not realize seeking approval is part of their make up.

In time, the road of seeking approval and being concerned with what others think - pulled you further away from following your passion and desires and kept you more in line with meeting expectations of others and of society in general.

Although in many instances, others would of approved of you and held you in high esteem because you were conforming and meeting expectations - internally you were not necessarily approving of yourself.

If there is a gap between what others think of you and what you think of yourself because you believe you have not met your potential - then that is were lowered self esteem comes in.

You cannot achieve high self esteem and self confidence unless you believe you are developing and reaching your potential. Achieving that potential - what ever it is - is what will give purpose, meaning, satisfaction and fulfillment to your life.

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies. ~Author Unknown

Everyone has a unique talent, a gift, a purpose that they are meant to express - their own imprint to leave on this world. By working on and developing this purpose is what will bring true happiness.

No doubt you recognize by now, that few people have actually taken the time to grow personally and develop their full potential. So if this is you, you are not alone.

However, at any time you can change that for yourself. It is never too late. You are never too old.

Clue: If you choose to speak of your desired change to someone else - you are actually seeking some kind of reassurance. At times speaking to others will bring about the encouragement we need to go forth, and at other times other people's comments will only reinforce our fears, and actually keep us stuck.

Tip: Before you speak to someone else about your plans, you may in fact want to think carefully about who you will choose to do this with. Will this particular individual you are confiding in be able to listen and offer you support or will they be judgmental? Remember when we change, others around us often feel uncomfortable - consciously or unconsciously because when we change they feel compelled to look at their own lives.

The key point in all of this - is simply to know that change can be very uncomfortable for a variety of reasons we are not fully aware of. However, we can observe how the anxiety manifests in our life, and take concrete baby steps to alter our situation.

Your friend and mentor along the way,

Lynette Chartier

Lynette Chartier, Life Style Mentor and Successful Entrepreneur, is helping many become the next success story.